Processing Unrealized Pain – Free Believers Network Podcast

Processing Unrealized Pain

Darin talks with Aimee about some issues that have popped up in his life in the last two years. After being out of the institutional church world for nearly nine years, Darin has started developing all the signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He’s been having nightmares almost five nights a week. So many of us have been injured deeply from our church experience. Some of the deepest wounds don’t expose themselves until years after the fact. Spiritual abuse and manipulation has more of a devastating effect on people then we even realize. Sometimes outlasting an injury is more important than getting a healing from one. You’ll enjoy this heart felt conversation.

While processing through thoughts and emotions and talking about past hurts is part of healing process, and ventilating and talking to counsellors/friends have their place, there is something beyond that, as Aimee pointed out – she made a good observation that the reason why sometimes unpleasant memories and past hurts may resurface many years after the incidents is because perhaps like a little boy deciding to come out of his room when he feels it is safer to come out after a long time, back then people who were going through tough times were in a survival mode, and had no time to process the thoughts and feelings back then.

And the human body and psyche can only take so much – so eventually, the emotions that were suppressed for a long time need to find an outlet, as part of natural healing process – I agree with them that it is not a “wimpy” thing to express emotions (unlike what society thinks), but in fact it is a courageous process of facing past fears and hurts and dealing with them when they resurface. And yes, it also helps to have counsellors or friends or fellow sufferers to walk through the processing of emotions and thoughts, as part of therapy – hence, support groups, like Free Believers Network, are helpful. I think being open about it helps Darin Hufford to process his past wounds and help others as well to relate and find comfort in knowing they are not struggling alone.

Towards the end of the podcast, Darin Hufford made an interesting observation that preachers who act as if they have arrived when they preach from the pulpit and not present themselves as vulnerable are in fact doing more harm than good to the congregation listening to them because they are not helping themselves or others to process the thoughts and emotions that may have been suppressed for a long time. We know that being open and vulnerable to our thoughts and emotions allows everyone to be who they really are and embrace all the feelings of the heart, which goes a long way to natural healing of mind and body. Like what this nugget of encouragement says:

♥~ When you are deeply present in each moment of your wonderful unique journey of this Life ♥ you open up to feelings of the heart ♥ allowing for true authentic emotional expression ♥ rather than reactive controlling behaviour ♥ that usually sabotage what you desire anyway ♥ Now is the time to embrace the beauty of each breath and know the true heart bliss of that feeling of Life in the simple motion of breathing~words by Liora~♥

Yes, the simple motion of breathing also aids in the processing of thoughts and emotions, and brings peace and serenity. I also like this nugget:

“Reality is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends upon what we look for. What we look for depends upon what we think. What we think depends upon what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. what we take to be true is our reality.”And…“Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~Gary Zukav

Yes, eventually we will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Scarlett says:

    There is something about spiritual abuse that cuts deeper than many other of the hurts in life. It’s a deep feeling of betrayal by those who we thought we could trust, and then found we couldn’t. However…just remember that Jesus went before us in this, and warned that those who would live godly would suffer persecution. He, and he alone is our healer, and he will come alongside and bind up the wounds and pour in the oil and the wine. Amen~

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